Positive Discipline is a management technique that helps children control their own movements and solve their problems
From the moment children are born, they want to live as they will feel happy, rather than rules. They expect this from the people around them. The family, culture, and own personality from which each child is born will determine the direction of the discipline and the way it follows the rules.
The fact that children are pleasure-oriented in the first years is actually related to the lower part of the brain that directs their movements, the amygdala. While the amygdala asks him/her to do the behavior that is pleasurable, he/she tells him/her to resist the behavior that he/she does not want, 😉 or when you present him/her with something that interests him/her more, he/she prefers pleasure and perhaps stops being stubborn with the effect of that object that you have attracted his/her attention. In early childhood, if discipline is a situation that the child will not like, the fact that he does not want to do it is actually a result of his developing brain.
When the upper brain, that is, the frontal lobe, comes into play, thinking begins. Logic begins, and by grasping the causes and consequences of the rules, social life begins to adapt, or questions the logic of the rules. This starts to sit around the age of 4 on average. The child’s development and when he/she is ready for which rule, and of course your behavior, will allow you to pass this period easily. So, if we have a child who is ready for the rules as a brain development, what are our duties?
1- It should be a good example for him.
If you don’t follow the rules you expect from him/her and he/she observes you, you will show him/her that the rules can sometimes be broken. However, stopping at a red light, which is a rule, is for everyone “stop ✋? ?”
2- It should be consistent: If you are really going to set rules, there should be a rule, as in the red light, and it should be valid to be adopted by everyone
3- Your rules should be realistic, there should be rules suitable for your child’s age and development that he/she can perceive. If a 2-year-old child draws the wall of the house, he is drawing with a pencil from his point of view and does not care where he draws, he is fascinated by the colors coming out of the pencil and the shapes. Because you gave him those pens to draw on paper the other day. He didn’t expect you to get angry when he drew it on the wall!
4- Raise awareness of the rules. Instead of insisting on a situation that will be new to him, tell him why you should comply first. You go to sleep first, then wait for him. Give examples from other people who have exemplified how to follow the rules. Identifying with him/her will make it easier for him/her to adopt. If you want to remind him/her not to use a bottle anymore and to drink the water from the glass, you can show him/her the people around him/her who use glasses.
5- Confirm. The reward is not always appropriate for a behavior that is already necessary to do. But making him/her feel that you see the positive behavior will make him/her comply with the rules more willingly. There may even be a slight smile, a nod, a wink. Then, when the rule starts to fit, it will already be done by itself. Most importantly, they will be encouraged to make new breakthroughs. In this way, you will make your child feel good
In positive discipline, the main purpose is to support the child to establish his/her self-control. Instead of constantly reminding the rules (which is the do-think order to the lower brain), it is to make him think and to apply the behavior he should be. Offer options if necessary, be open to communication at all times so that you feel unconditionally loved and accepted in all your positive and negative behaviors.