Dependency and attachment are two different ways of describing the feelings between you and your baby, but dependency is broader than attachment.
Attachment is about both you and your baby. It’s about building a relationship that, over time, helps your baby feel safe, loved, and ready to face the world.
Attachment is about you. This is about increasing the love and sensitivity you feel for your baby. You can feel it even when you’re pregnant. Or you may feel it the first time you hold your baby after birth. It may take longer to feel it.
Commitment
From birth, your baby’s commitment to you develops in response to the care and love you give him. Recognizing and responding to your baby’s needs for cuddles, play, rest, and nutrients helps him or her become committed to you.
This strong positive connection grows with your baby and forms an important foundation. It helps him/her feel safe and protected against potential dangers.
Your baby may smile at you, hum, crawl, cry, or stretch out his arms in anticipation of a response from you. In this case, your baby will expect a smile, response, a nice word or hug from you.
By giving her a sensitive response, you can reassure your baby that you’re there for her. So your baby can feel more comfortable playing or exploring. Even when your baby is busy with something, being aware that you are with him/her will make your baby feel safe and comfortable.
Commitment is a long process that develops and deepens over time. A secure attachment helps babies regulate their thoughts and feelings and improve their self-esteem.
Bonding
Attachment is the love, care, and concern that are unique to your relationship with your baby. Having a strong bond with your baby makes you happy.
You may feel attached to your baby even before birth. Perhaps your baby’s first kick can make you feel an irresistible love for her. But sometimes the process we call attachment can take longer and can take place from birth to your baby’s first year. Attachment is not a naturally developing process for everyone. It may take time for you to form a bond with your baby. Reasons you don’t have can affect the bonding process.
One of the first lessons of parenting is that you can’t always find the right path. You may not always be able to act correctly. Give yourself time to feel this connection and keep in mind that your feelings of love and compassion will develop momentarily or over time.